Sometime in December or Maybe January…

by cannabisara

Sometimes–well most of the time I feel my mind drift to the trees. I can feel the leaves and smell the bark and envelope myself in the pungent scent of the earth. As the breeze swims past me it mingles with the leaves and swirls my hair and I close my eyes, paralyzed by the sunshine on my face. I listen to anything and everything I can hear. I work to distinguish each and every sound in the air. I take enormous pleasure in these moments. I allow my mind to travel amongst the trees and drown itself in the various adaptations of the senses. My senses. I allow this for myself. I wish this for others. It seems the society in which I live has no interest in embracing nature or ones own sense of self; sense of life. The society in which I unfortunately was born into, cares about money. So they train you like good little sheep to follow. Obey. The purpose is absent. This is something which will forever make me sad but I have learned to live with it. I have chosen to live my life. I feel alot–most of the time. I know now to be in constant awareness of these feelings or “emotions”. To be only aware–not to give in to them. This has helped me greatly. I am currently at one of the most decisive moments in my life, constantly. Strange as it is, we all could be if we realize we can take every moment and make it such. Just by making a choice for it to be so. To be as you wish it to be…and it will be that. It will be that. I have worked almost constantly since the age of thirteen only to realize from my blossoming consciousness–that this way of living deemed suitable in this society is not a way of living but merely another way to die. The “normal” way to die. This is the inevitable but I am not dead yet. So I choose. I CHOOSE. I choose to live. I choose to do what I want–and to clear away the falsities that were temporarily engrained into my young mind. Now if more people will wake up–maybe I and others like me would not feel so alone. Although it is the Human Condition, simply put–so maybe the loneliness would still remain but possibly be a bit more tolerable. Despite this feeling, I won’t entertain it–For I am aware and aware that there are humans around me. Even if those around me seem to be ignorant close-minded sheep. I feel like someone is looking for me. As much as I hide from others, I would like it very much if they were to find me…this person whom I feel searching for me. Or maybe I am the one in pursuit of them ?